Rainforestinn's B&B Blog -- El Yunque, Puerto Rico

Escape From Your Urban Jungle to Our El Yunque Jungle

Laurie and I often talk about this blog and what we can say here and what we can’t. We know that most of our readers are innkeepers. We also know that our many loyal readers are family members who find it entertaining to read about our tribulations in far-off tropical Puerto Rico. And we especially love it when nature enthusiasts find our blog because they want to read about what it is like to live in the rainforest. But we also realize that some of our readers are potential guests so we try not to whine and complain to much about our life as innkeepers even though doing so in this forum could prove cathartic. And we especially avoid, at all costs, the mention of any rainforest occurrences that might make potential guests (our customers, the bread and butter of the rainforest inn) a little uneasy and therefor less likely to confirm a reservation.

So you will find no mention in this blog about the time Laurie screamed and woke me up when she was in the kitchen getting a midnight snack and instead she got a midnight snake (an endangered Puerto Rican boa had snuck in the open door). We will also not bring up the decidedly funny story of another midnight wakening when a land crab was visiting with many little scrabble noises of its hard feet on the wooden floor of the yoga room (where we used to have our bedroom). I knew it was a crab but didn’t want to get up, catch it, and scoot it back into the jungle as its visit wasn’t bothering me (Laurie did insist though and I had to get up that night).

Laurie and I have been living in the rainforest for many years. It has been more than five years right here in our El Yunque guest house the Rainforest Inn, Laurie moved to the island in 1991 and I moved here more than thirty years ago in 1987. There are many differences between the temperate forests of Europe and the northern temperate forests of America and Puerto Rico’s El Yunque rainforest. Living anywhere for long enough you grow accustomed to your environment and you tend to overlook the things that someone new might find strange and incredible (and which you’ve grown passe about). We are very lucky to be running a guest house in the rainforest because we are constantly reminded about the incredible, wonderful things in the rainforest through new eyes. Thanks to the fresh view points of our guests we can continually be amazed by the jungle environment.

Sometimes we have to explain to guests that the termites swarm on their own schedule

one or two times a year. Our inn is by appoint only except the rainforest termites never make an appointment. and there’s nothing you can do to stop them. It is mainly because of the occasional termite swarm that we have the chalet and the villa (where the guests stay) screened. There are nearly no mosquitoes here. Most of the rainforest insects are nocturnal, including the termites. When the termites swarm we have a drill where we close up the houses and turn off the lights.

But sometimes they swarm when we’re not here which happened recently when we got a panicky phone call from a guest asking, “what can we do about flying insects inside the house”?

So we rushed home to deal with this new jungle menace. Termite swarms are so rare that we didn’t realize that that was all it was until we got there and saw the discarded termite wings on the floor. We had grown passe and didn’t consider a termite swarm anything frightening. Not everyone can be expected to know that if you see a few termites heading for the lights you better shut the front door quickly before the rest come in.

We love the night sounds. Every evening we relax and sip tea or sometimes a glass of red wine to the serenade of the coquis and the katydids. The symphony starts at dusk when the coquis drop down from the tree tops. Later on in the evening we sometimes we hear the call of the lizard cuckoo or feel really lucky to hear the Tarzan-movie-soundtrack like call of the Puerto Rican screech owl. Just the other day I was talking to one of our guests from France. She mentioned that she was a little frightened the first night here when she heard a spooky sound like an angry monkey or maybe a crying child in the distance. She was relieved to learn that it was a beloved rainforest denizen and that she had been lucky to hear the incredible monkey-call of the Puerto Rican Screech Owl.

If you have read this far you may have figured out that Laurie and I decided that our potential guests (and we know this because of the many fun experiences we have had with many guests so far) want an adventure with nature. So you will be reading some more stories here that might make your average urban jungle resident choose to stay in a pristine, air conditioned, resort but which will only serve to titillate the guests that we attract (and appreciate, and often count as new friends) here at the Puerto Rico El Yunque rainforest inn.

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A Reluctant Gardener

I enjoy a beautiful garden. I especially like the combination of tropical greenery and beds of useful plants like parsley, basil and lettuce. We can grow all the spices and most of the salad plants we need in raised beds that are well drained. But  the process of digging in the hard dirt under the hot Caribbean sun is not a hobby I'm much interested in pursuing. I hate pushing the wheel barrow. Why are wheel barrows designed like that with a steel tripper thing wrapped in front of the wheel so that if you are over five feet tall they're impossible to push on anything but a nearly level surface? Shovels, even expensive ones with steel shanks and structural fiberglass and with drop forged blades  still break (and all the while breaking your back too when you're using them). The handles on shovels are never long enough either. I think the farm implement manufacturers believe all gardeners are just five feet tall. Laurie never complains about the gardening tools but she is  five foot six so it makes sense.

The pictures were taken when I was planting some heliconia hybrids called "tropicas" to cover the fence on each side of our entranceway.

I know it appears like all I'm doing is resting and talking on the phone but that is not any indication of how much sweat I'm putting into this job it is only a lucky coincidence of when the camera happened to be pointing at me.  It also isn't true that I can't do anything without my iPhone. I just bring it with me everywhere.

Laurie  knows how much I like her landscaping and she has tricked me into doing an hour or so every afternoon helping with the "heavy stuff".  She tells me that "men who garden are sexy". She makes nice cool drinks and she works with me the whole time. But I'm not fooled. I just love her and it's important to her so I do it anyways and  I  appreciate the results. I'm never happy doing the gardening and am always "reluctant". I certainly don't feel sexy after an hour of toiling in the soil. I just feel tired and sweaty.

We are still working on the new villas and the swimming pool construction too but because we have two villas open and rented nearly all the time it is important to keep the grounds manicured with curvy paths and tropical plants of all sorts. We have been planting bromeliads and orchids of late.

My nephew Curtis put in some brick paths too when he was visiting. The center of the paths, where he is standing, will be a mosaic pattern soon that Laurie has all designed. We already found some white stones for the mosaic but have been having trouble finding some black or gray stones to finish it. It may be a while before the central design is finished but it will be a spectacular feature.

I need a Cheesecake in Paradise

I knew what Laurie was going to write about for this week's blog. I was home working. And when I'm home programming or web designing I know I'm also supposed to answer the phone but it does interrupt the whole process. Well Laurie called lots of times that day when she was out getting all the stuff we need for the day-to-day operations of our rainforest bed and breakfast. I look forward to her calls as a welcome break, usually, but when she calls incessantly it quickly becomes something less then a welcome distraction. So I knew what she was going to write. She didn't know that it would be "Worth every damn bit of sacrifice to get a Cheesecake in Paradise".

Did you ever want something so bad that you were willing to stop at almost nothing to get it? Well, that was me on Monday the day after Mother's Day. I had a bunch of errands to do and in the process I got this idea in my head around noontime that I just could not and would not survive without a piece of cheese cake.

My last stop for the day was going to be Costco. They have great cheesecakes in all sorts of flavors ranging from amaretto to guava. The only catch was that I would have to buy the whole damn thing knowing that Bill only eats chocolate, Hmm... So you can imagine my dilemma. I thought where else can I get a piece of cheesecake before I go to Costco?  I remembered that the other day Bill and I had dinner at Chili's and I ordered cheesecake and they did not have any. This craving must have been banging around in my head since then, and no, I am not pregnant. Off to Chili's I went and had a nice lunch and then I ordered cheesecake. I waited for what seemed an eternity to get that piece of cheesecake and the waitress returned empty handed.

"I am sorry," she told me "we are out of cheesecake."  She tried to sell me another dessert but I kindly asked for the check and decided I would just have to go without again.

My next stop was Plaza Carolina to buy gardening supplies at Sears. Ah-ah they have a Chili's there I thought. It was pretty far from Sears but I didn't mind the walk as I kept my mind on my goal of a delectable piece of cheesecake.  I ordered a piece as soon as I sat down at the counter  and waited again for what seemed an eternity. The waiter in that restaurant also returned to my table empty handed. We are out  of cheesecake today he told me.  Or any day for that matter I wanted to say to him, I did not want to be polite any more, I just wanted to scream. I kindly declined his offer of another dessert and left. As I was leaving I was thinking to myself, most intelligent people would not return to the same franchise three times just to be disappointed would they? I was beginning to believe the Chili's has no cheesecake and will never have it again. I thought next time I go there I will ask just to see what happens, but I will tell them I don't really want it I just want to know if you have it. I figure that way I won't be disappointed or feel like a fool for a fourth time.

On my way to Sears I remembered Starbucks was just around the corner and they have this lemon tart that I really like. I would get that instead I decided and maybe fool my cheesecake craving. When I got there they did not have the lemon tart  but they did have cheesecake. Things were looking up. I was so happy I wanted to reach over the counter and hug the girl waiting on me but decided against it for fear they would have taken me away and locked me up in wherever they put crazed cheesecake cravers. I savored every bite  of that dessert and left Starbucks satisfied. 

Later that day while I was in Costco, where one of the employees was giving out samples at the end of an aisle as they often do. IT WAS CHEESE CAKE. Was I in the twilight zone? Do you think they knew I was coming? They couldn't have. I never go there on Mondays. Anyway I tried a piece of their sample cheese cake and it was really yummy and I thought if I had had a little more patience I could have had my piece of cheesecake in paradise for free!

YouTube Videos aren't Always Videos

There are so many ways to promote your bed and breakfast using videos. Tripadvisor has a section where you can upload them.  Many of the paid directories also have video sections. Don't discount your section on youtube. We have the rainforestinn channel and some of our videos there have thousands of downloads (they were made by friends who have cameras). But to make a video you need know-how, technical lighting and gaffer tools, sound equipment, video editing software, Camera tripods and a camera. Since we don't have a video camera we didn't even have to worry about all the other knowledge and equipment we also didn't have.

Last month we started managing a  new vacation rental in El Yunque. It's a large estate home on the same hill (five acres over) as our bed and breakfast. A video walk through of "Villa Hermosa" would have been an excellent promotion tool. But we don't have a video camera. After a couple of days feeling morose and depressed about the inability to make a video I did some searching on the internet and found out about Animoto. This is an internet based service that makes high production value motion graphics synchronized to every beat of your music. Animoto's service is hard it describe.

In about ten minutes you can make a video from your photographs (either upload them or use ones you already have on flickr). Their web based software synchronizes the pictures to the music which you select. There is a video on their website which explains the service (more better as we say here in the Caribbean). They also have lots of music to choose from on their website but I recommend you go to the podsafe music network to find some better music which matches your video exactly.  You can buy music there (very cheaply) and legally use it in your podcasts (both video and sound) as long as it is not a commercial production and as long as you give the artist credit. There are also other sources for the music of independent artists that you can use. It takes some time to find a song that will be perfect for your video but it's fun.

Obviously you can't use anything owned by a major music label or they will come to your house, fine you $25,000 dollars and take away your computer. I imagine (when it happens) that you're descended on by men in black suits driving cargo vans and all just because you wanted to use "Thriller" as the background in your inn's video. Seriously though, the amount of independent music available is incredible and so much of it is such amazing high quality stuff.

Faux Vegetarianism

There are so many different kinds of vegetarians that sometimes I get confused. We serve a vegetarian breakfast here at the rainforestinn so we are conscious of vegetarianism. And I certainly understand the animal rights argument. Using animals for making your shoes, belts and fancy designer purses is clearly a violation of animal rights.

The animals should be free to play in the jungle. But the argument for "free range" meat confuses me. Let the chickens out of their cages so that they can have a happy free life on the farm running around and eating bugs then kill them? You are just giving them the illusion of a happy life until they are fat and then you take it away. It would be unethical to eat free range meat. It's more humane to eat unhappy chickens that were brought up in cages because those animals weren't fooled and their death for my dinner plate may have been the quick end they were looking forward to.

What about Vegans? Who gets that? The first time I heard it I thought it had something to do with Star Trek because I knew Spock was a Vulcan and maybe the Vegans lived nearby. Some of our breakfasts are Vegan but I'm not sure which. At least the Vegans know what to eat so that is all that counts I guess.

Yet another class of vegetarians will eat fish. That is because fish are the vegetables of the sea. I can see that too. Zooplankton, Phytoplankton, you need a microscope to spy out the little patches of chloroform.

But it's the fourth kind of vegetarian that I really understand. "Faux Vegetarian" that's me. When I sit down at a table and they are serving frog's legs, steak tartar, or any of the various animal guts like gizzards or chicken hearts or even pig's feet then I remark at how delicious it all looks and how sorry I am that I can't enjoy their repast because I'm a vegetarian. But it's a different story when someone serves me some aged angus filet mignon or black forest ham then suddenly I'm an omnivore. So when I'm hungry and the food looks good all my confusion drops away.