Rainforestinn's B&B Blog -- El Yunque, Puerto Rico

Mañana – The Fifth Time Zone

Sometimes I think we live in the fifth time zone. At The Rainforest Inn the housekeepers have us on a schedule. We wish we had them scheduled around our guest’s breakfasts, check-ins and check-outs. On our schedule today is today, on their schedule, today is sometimes mañana. The guests want their breakfast today not mañana. Their rooms need to be ready for check in today before they arrive not mañana.

I hired a mom and her daughter. Both of them part time. I figured between the two of them somebody would show up when I needed them, today. Not mañana, after I have completed their work. You’ve heard the old saying "all the good men are already taken". Well, all the good housekeepers are taken too. Maybe they are living somewhere with all the good men. Anyway, it is fifteen minutes to nine today and I have 8 hungry people waiting for my gourmet breakfast (which should be served at nine today not 9:00 Mañana) and I am all alone.  Normally, Bill helps me when I need it but he had to go to San Juan early this morning and is not here to help me. If I was into strangling the help, today would be their unlucky day.

Puerto Rico has a very laid back culture. That is one of the great draws of the Caribbean islands. But, I have to admit that when I depend on my help and they don't show it doesn’t seem such a great feature. The other day neither housekeeper showed because the grandmother had a dental appointment.  What?!  And before that neither came on time because they had to go and buy some school supplies for one of their kids. "Oh". I told them,  "My guests didn't want to wait until 11:00 for breakfast so I went ahead and prepared it without you".  Tardiness is right up there with the no shows. Showing up at 8:00 a.m. to help with breakfast does not mean that is the time you set your alarm to wake up. Hence, mañana – the fifth time zone.  Regaton is one of Puerto Rico’s latest cultural innovations and has become very popular stateside. Puerto Rico’s long-standing fifth time zone concept has taken a little longer to catch on.

We have tried everything here at the Inn to get the housekeepers to meet our  schedule. We have scolded them and we have tried rewarding them.  Wouldn’t you like $50.00 extra at the end of the month just for showing up on time? When that didn't work it really surprised us! Holidays and the weekends are their free time, period. I will schedule them and even beg them to please come once in awhile on a Saturday. But they will not show and come mañana instead. I needed them Saturday of course, not mañana. Here in the islands (not just in Puerto Rico) the workers train their employers well. We don't schedule them during these times anymore.   Bill and I wish we could have grown up in a fifth time zone. Can you imagine never having to worry about being late for work or even showing up on the right day?

Fortunately, for us there are young people who have the mind frame and the freedom to take time from their regular life and graciously volunteer for a few months at a time, with only room and board as payment. And I do mean graciously volunteering. They work hard and do a great job too. They always show up and are on time because they live here with us. Can't beat that. For the past year, Peter, one of our volunteers from the states who is now moving on with his life, was my best assistant cook (and always showed up on time and on the right day). He often did the whole breakfast himself to give me a break. It will be hard to replace him.  He was always pleasant and my best worker and trust me I am not the easiest person to work for.  Sometimes I can be a little brash and I have some perfectionism stuff going on, so I have been told.

As of today, I have given up. I’ll never ask either housekeeper to work on a weekend, holiday, today or even mañana, again. They are now free to live in the fifth time zone. ( I may regret this mañana) Now I no longer have my housekeepers or my assistant cook but I do have one of “the last good men out there”.  Many thanks go to Bill, for all the times he let me drag him into my kitchen to help me with the breakfasts (which is my job not his) and didn’t complain, well maybe he did a little. Now if I could only get him to show up on time, could it be he may be slowly slipping into the fifth time zone too?

All and All I think I will survive. Every day I have the sunshine, warm, mountain breezes and the serenading song of the coquis here in El Yunque to remind me that this is just one of life's minor annoyances. I’m afraid though, *-I sometimes feel the calling of the fifth time zone too. Mañana.

Escape From Your Urban Jungle to Our El Yunque Jungle

Laurie and I often talk about this blog and what we can say here and what we can’t. We know that most of our readers are innkeepers. We also know that our many loyal readers are family members who find it entertaining to read about our tribulations in far-off tropical Puerto Rico. And we especially love it when nature enthusiasts find our blog because they want to read about what it is like to live in the rainforest. But we also realize that some of our readers are potential guests so we try not to whine and complain to much about our life as innkeepers even though doing so in this forum could prove cathartic. And we especially avoid, at all costs, the mention of any rainforest occurrences that might make potential guests (our customers, the bread and butter of the rainforest inn) a little uneasy and therefor less likely to confirm a reservation.

So you will find no mention in this blog about the time Laurie screamed and woke me up when she was in the kitchen getting a midnight snack and instead she got a midnight snake (an endangered Puerto Rican boa had snuck in the open door). We will also not bring up the decidedly funny story of another midnight wakening when a land crab was visiting with many little scrabble noises of its hard feet on the wooden floor of the yoga room (where we used to have our bedroom). I knew it was a crab but didn’t want to get up, catch it, and scoot it back into the jungle as its visit wasn’t bothering me (Laurie did insist though and I had to get up that night).

Laurie and I have been living in the rainforest for many years. It has been more than five years right here in our El Yunque guest house the Rainforest Inn, Laurie moved to the island in 1991 and I moved here more than thirty years ago in 1987. There are many differences between the temperate forests of Europe and the northern temperate forests of America and Puerto Rico’s El Yunque rainforest. Living anywhere for long enough you grow accustomed to your environment and you tend to overlook the things that someone new might find strange and incredible (and which you’ve grown passe about). We are very lucky to be running a guest house in the rainforest because we are constantly reminded about the incredible, wonderful things in the rainforest through new eyes. Thanks to the fresh view points of our guests we can continually be amazed by the jungle environment.

Sometimes we have to explain to guests that the termites swarm on their own schedule

one or two times a year. Our inn is by appoint only except the rainforest termites never make an appointment. and there’s nothing you can do to stop them. It is mainly because of the occasional termite swarm that we have the chalet and the villa (where the guests stay) screened. There are nearly no mosquitoes here. Most of the rainforest insects are nocturnal, including the termites. When the termites swarm we have a drill where we close up the houses and turn off the lights.

But sometimes they swarm when we’re not here which happened recently when we got a panicky phone call from a guest asking, “what can we do about flying insects inside the house”?

So we rushed home to deal with this new jungle menace. Termite swarms are so rare that we didn’t realize that that was all it was until we got there and saw the discarded termite wings on the floor. We had grown passe and didn’t consider a termite swarm anything frightening. Not everyone can be expected to know that if you see a few termites heading for the lights you better shut the front door quickly before the rest come in.

We love the night sounds. Every evening we relax and sip tea or sometimes a glass of red wine to the serenade of the coquis and the katydids. The symphony starts at dusk when the coquis drop down from the tree tops. Later on in the evening we sometimes we hear the call of the lizard cuckoo or feel really lucky to hear the Tarzan-movie-soundtrack like call of the Puerto Rican screech owl. Just the other day I was talking to one of our guests from France. She mentioned that she was a little frightened the first night here when she heard a spooky sound like an angry monkey or maybe a crying child in the distance. She was relieved to learn that it was a beloved rainforest denizen and that she had been lucky to hear the incredible monkey-call of the Puerto Rican Screech Owl.

If you have read this far you may have figured out that Laurie and I decided that our potential guests (and we know this because of the many fun experiences we have had with many guests so far) want an adventure with nature. So you will be reading some more stories here that might make your average urban jungle resident choose to stay in a pristine, air conditioned, resort but which will only serve to titillate the guests that we attract (and appreciate, and often count as new friends) here at the Puerto Rico El Yunque rainforest inn.

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A Reluctant Gardener

I enjoy a beautiful garden. I especially like the combination of tropical greenery and beds of useful plants like parsley, basil and lettuce. We can grow all the spices and most of the salad plants we need in raised beds that are well drained. But  the process of digging in the hard dirt under the hot Caribbean sun is not a hobby I'm much interested in pursuing. I hate pushing the wheel barrow. Why are wheel barrows designed like that with a steel tripper thing wrapped in front of the wheel so that if you are over five feet tall they're impossible to push on anything but a nearly level surface? Shovels, even expensive ones with steel shanks and structural fiberglass and with drop forged blades  still break (and all the while breaking your back too when you're using them). The handles on shovels are never long enough either. I think the farm implement manufacturers believe all gardeners are just five feet tall. Laurie never complains about the gardening tools but she is  five foot six so it makes sense.

The pictures were taken when I was planting some heliconia hybrids called "tropicas" to cover the fence on each side of our entranceway.

I know it appears like all I'm doing is resting and talking on the phone but that is not any indication of how much sweat I'm putting into this job it is only a lucky coincidence of when the camera happened to be pointing at me.  It also isn't true that I can't do anything without my iPhone. I just bring it with me everywhere.

Laurie  knows how much I like her landscaping and she has tricked me into doing an hour or so every afternoon helping with the "heavy stuff".  She tells me that "men who garden are sexy". She makes nice cool drinks and she works with me the whole time. But I'm not fooled. I just love her and it's important to her so I do it anyways and  I  appreciate the results. I'm never happy doing the gardening and am always "reluctant". I certainly don't feel sexy after an hour of toiling in the soil. I just feel tired and sweaty.

We are still working on the new villas and the swimming pool construction too but because we have two villas open and rented nearly all the time it is important to keep the grounds manicured with curvy paths and tropical plants of all sorts. We have been planting bromeliads and orchids of late.

My nephew Curtis put in some brick paths too when he was visiting. The center of the paths, where he is standing, will be a mosaic pattern soon that Laurie has all designed. We already found some white stones for the mosaic but have been having trouble finding some black or gray stones to finish it. It may be a while before the central design is finished but it will be a spectacular feature.

I need a Cheesecake in Paradise

I knew what Laurie was going to write about for this week's blog. I was home working. And when I'm home programming or web designing I know I'm also supposed to answer the phone but it does interrupt the whole process. Well Laurie called lots of times that day when she was out getting all the stuff we need for the day-to-day operations of our rainforest bed and breakfast. I look forward to her calls as a welcome break, usually, but when she calls incessantly it quickly becomes something less then a welcome distraction. So I knew what she was going to write. She didn't know that it would be "Worth every damn bit of sacrifice to get a Cheesecake in Paradise".

Did you ever want something so bad that you were willing to stop at almost nothing to get it? Well, that was me on Monday the day after Mother's Day. I had a bunch of errands to do and in the process I got this idea in my head around noontime that I just could not and would not survive without a piece of cheese cake.

My last stop for the day was going to be Costco. They have great cheesecakes in all sorts of flavors ranging from amaretto to guava. The only catch was that I would have to buy the whole damn thing knowing that Bill only eats chocolate, Hmm... So you can imagine my dilemma. I thought where else can I get a piece of cheesecake before I go to Costco?  I remembered that the other day Bill and I had dinner at Chili's and I ordered cheesecake and they did not have any. This craving must have been banging around in my head since then, and no, I am not pregnant. Off to Chili's I went and had a nice lunch and then I ordered cheesecake. I waited for what seemed an eternity to get that piece of cheesecake and the waitress returned empty handed.

"I am sorry," she told me "we are out of cheesecake."  She tried to sell me another dessert but I kindly asked for the check and decided I would just have to go without again.

My next stop was Plaza Carolina to buy gardening supplies at Sears. Ah-ah they have a Chili's there I thought. It was pretty far from Sears but I didn't mind the walk as I kept my mind on my goal of a delectable piece of cheesecake.  I ordered a piece as soon as I sat down at the counter  and waited again for what seemed an eternity. The waiter in that restaurant also returned to my table empty handed. We are out  of cheesecake today he told me.  Or any day for that matter I wanted to say to him, I did not want to be polite any more, I just wanted to scream. I kindly declined his offer of another dessert and left. As I was leaving I was thinking to myself, most intelligent people would not return to the same franchise three times just to be disappointed would they? I was beginning to believe the Chili's has no cheesecake and will never have it again. I thought next time I go there I will ask just to see what happens, but I will tell them I don't really want it I just want to know if you have it. I figure that way I won't be disappointed or feel like a fool for a fourth time.

On my way to Sears I remembered Starbucks was just around the corner and they have this lemon tart that I really like. I would get that instead I decided and maybe fool my cheesecake craving. When I got there they did not have the lemon tart  but they did have cheesecake. Things were looking up. I was so happy I wanted to reach over the counter and hug the girl waiting on me but decided against it for fear they would have taken me away and locked me up in wherever they put crazed cheesecake cravers. I savored every bite  of that dessert and left Starbucks satisfied. 

Later that day while I was in Costco, where one of the employees was giving out samples at the end of an aisle as they often do. IT WAS CHEESE CAKE. Was I in the twilight zone? Do you think they knew I was coming? They couldn't have. I never go there on Mondays. Anyway I tried a piece of their sample cheese cake and it was really yummy and I thought if I had had a little more patience I could have had my piece of cheesecake in paradise for free!

YouTube Videos aren't Always Videos

There are so many ways to promote your bed and breakfast using videos. Tripadvisor has a section where you can upload them.  Many of the paid directories also have video sections. Don't discount your section on youtube. We have the rainforestinn channel and some of our videos there have thousands of downloads (they were made by friends who have cameras). But to make a video you need know-how, technical lighting and gaffer tools, sound equipment, video editing software, Camera tripods and a camera. Since we don't have a video camera we didn't even have to worry about all the other knowledge and equipment we also didn't have.

Last month we started managing a  new vacation rental in El Yunque. It's a large estate home on the same hill (five acres over) as our bed and breakfast. A video walk through of "Villa Hermosa" would have been an excellent promotion tool. But we don't have a video camera. After a couple of days feeling morose and depressed about the inability to make a video I did some searching on the internet and found out about Animoto. This is an internet based service that makes high production value motion graphics synchronized to every beat of your music. Animoto's service is hard it describe.

In about ten minutes you can make a video from your photographs (either upload them or use ones you already have on flickr). Their web based software synchronizes the pictures to the music which you select. There is a video on their website which explains the service (more better as we say here in the Caribbean). They also have lots of music to choose from on their website but I recommend you go to the podsafe music network to find some better music which matches your video exactly.  You can buy music there (very cheaply) and legally use it in your podcasts (both video and sound) as long as it is not a commercial production and as long as you give the artist credit. There are also other sources for the music of independent artists that you can use. It takes some time to find a song that will be perfect for your video but it's fun.

Obviously you can't use anything owned by a major music label or they will come to your house, fine you $25,000 dollars and take away your computer. I imagine (when it happens) that you're descended on by men in black suits driving cargo vans and all just because you wanted to use "Thriller" as the background in your inn's video. Seriously though, the amount of independent music available is incredible and so much of it is such amazing high quality stuff.

Faux Vegetarianism

There are so many different kinds of vegetarians that sometimes I get confused. We serve a vegetarian breakfast here at the rainforestinn so we are conscious of vegetarianism. And I certainly understand the animal rights argument. Using animals for making your shoes, belts and fancy designer purses is clearly a violation of animal rights.

The animals should be free to play in the jungle. But the argument for "free range" meat confuses me. Let the chickens out of their cages so that they can have a happy free life on the farm running around and eating bugs then kill them? You are just giving them the illusion of a happy life until they are fat and then you take it away. It would be unethical to eat free range meat. It's more humane to eat unhappy chickens that were brought up in cages because those animals weren't fooled and their death for my dinner plate may have been the quick end they were looking forward to.

What about Vegans? Who gets that? The first time I heard it I thought it had something to do with Star Trek because I knew Spock was a Vulcan and maybe the Vegans lived nearby. Some of our breakfasts are Vegan but I'm not sure which. At least the Vegans know what to eat so that is all that counts I guess.

Yet another class of vegetarians will eat fish. That is because fish are the vegetables of the sea. I can see that too. Zooplankton, Phytoplankton, you need a microscope to spy out the little patches of chloroform.

But it's the fourth kind of vegetarian that I really understand. "Faux Vegetarian" that's me. When I sit down at a table and they are serving frog's legs, steak tartar, or any of the various animal guts like gizzards or chicken hearts or even pig's feet then I remark at how delicious it all looks and how sorry I am that I can't enjoy their repast because I'm a vegetarian. But it's a different story when someone serves me some aged angus filet mignon or black forest ham then suddenly I'm an omnivore. So when I'm hungry and the food looks good all my confusion drops away.

Bed and Breakfast Blogs

I normally search on the internet for other blogs written by bed and breakfast owners. You can see some of the ones I like in the blog roll on the side panel of this website. The thing I notice in most of those blogs are how they promote the bed and breakfast which they own (makes sense -- I do it too) and they also talk about all the cool activities in their area and the "happenings". But the majority of them don't mention anything else. I want to hear some personal stuff so that I can get a feel for their lives as innkeepers. What about their pets? I want to know about their crazy Aunt Mabel who only visits during high season and won't leave (it happens -- a lot when you own a guest house).

Look at the list of featured blogs here: featured blogs on I love inns and you will see what I mean. Their blogs are all great. You will read about events that are featured near the inn's blog. Or perhaps about vacation specials this week (last minute savings etc). All the basic public relations and local information you could ever want. I want more...

Why do these other newsy blogs bother me? It's all about the blogosphere. I want to make a vast network of informative links between different bed and breakfast blogs featuring eclectic writings and just interesting stuff. Stuff we all want to read about.

So any of you out there that know about other innkeepers who are writing blogs that you find interesting please, please shoot me an email or make a comment here with the URL.

Blogging Often? I'd Rather be Biking

Blogging authorities agree -- a weekly blog post (some say daily) is the only way to keep your readers coming back for more. But there's so many things vying for my attention. It's high season at the rainforest inn. All our villas are booked with no vacancies in sight. The calendar looks all red with the marking tape we use to show bookings. We are now using an internet booking calendar which is saving some time.  I don't have to answer as many calls from guests wanting to stay nights that we're already booked because they can check the calendar themselves. We are also looking into a call answering service that will take messages and take bookings those times when we can't answer the phone. So what am I doing with all the extra time?

  This is a picture of my bike, taken this morning, leaning up against the sign just up the road from our entrance. I love to bike up that road in the morning. The rainforest is densely packed green vegetation on each side and the trees grow over and shade the road. There are stands of bamboo that move in the early morning breeze making spooky sounds. Two bridge crossings go over the headwaters of the Espiritu Santo river with lovely waterfalls on the south side of the bridge and an expansive view down the mountain to the north. After that early morning ride I always feel more full of energy and more able to deal with another day of not enough time (to blog). I have an extra bike and often ask my guests if they're interested in joining me for the ride up the road but no one has yet taken me up on the offer. I recommend highly for anyone else who finds themselves with too much on their calendar and no free time to take off in the early morning for a brisk 45 minutes of enjoyable aerobic exercise. It is not lost time. 

Mistaken identity

This morning I slept in too late to ride my bike before helping Laurie deliver the breakfasts (we serve breakfast at 9 am so I had no excuse). I was walking around, a little groggy from sleep, and kept hearing someone hammering in the background. There was also a bird squaking (a parrot?) but the hammering sound came from a different direction like someone working upstairs. I didn't really think about it because, if I had, I would have realized that there wasn't anyone upstairs 'cause we never do any work on the inn when there are guests staying.

When I walked up the driveway to open the gate the hammering sound got louder. We have two gates. The main gate is a mile down the mountain and it has an access control automatic system that calls my cell phone so I can beep someone in but our second gate is just above the parking and I haven't installed a gate opener in it yet. I kind of enjoy the quiet late evenings and early mornings when I walk up there to push the heavy gate aside on its steel rollers. The walk up the driveway also helps wake me up because I realized that the hammering sound had to be a woodpecker. He was really going at it. Pounding away furiously in small branch coming off the palma rosa tree in the dense brush there. Bits of wood fibers and sawdust were spewing to each side. I wish I could have gotten a video to post here but by the time I got the camera changed to video he flew off. He came back the next day but when I snuck up with the camera that time he must have already talked to his agent because at the first sight of the lens he took off again. I will keep trying though because he looks cool going at it with his hard beak and the hammering sound is so loud.

Who’s Who at the Rainforest Inn

Hi. My name is Pedro. I’m writing Bill’s Bed and Breakfast blog this week because Bill is busy entertaining visiting relatives in addition to running the inn during peak season and opening up a new five bedroom villa. I’ve been living here at the El Yunque Rainforest Inn for about eight months now.

This is the first time I’ve had the chance to hang out “behind the scenes” at a B&B guest house and it has been very interesting. Small places like this get their personality from the owners and Bill & Laurie certainly have some personalities. Bill is from the west coast and Laurie is from the east coast. Bill grew up in a large family which raised their children absolutely laissez-faire. He basically did whatever he wished with no adult supervision. He has stories about inventions he made as a child (one of which blew up his bed). Laurie, on the other hand, grew up in a strict organized environment working as a very young girl in her parent’s business. So you can imagine that they don’t always agree about how to run the bed and breakfast. Bill is busy running his ship’s agency which leaves Laurie in charge at the inn. But Bill still has time to interject free-style inconsistencies which keep things interesting.

I want to tell you about the girls, my favorite subject. Lizzy is a platinum blonde beauty. She has been with Bill & Laurie the longest. Although she is popular with the guests she proved her unreliability last year in a spectacular fashion. She took a hiatus (without either Bill or Laurie’s approval) for nine months. I worried about her whereabouts all that time but remembered also that the workers are often not on time and have been known to take off from a job sometimes for weeks without notice. In Puerto Rico it is more important to stop and help someone who is in need then to be on time for a job. Lizzy came back very nonchalantly one day after her vacation with some excuse about how she was kidnapped. Laurie was relieved to see her again but by that time she had transfered much of her affection to Bella, one of the younger girls (but not the youngest). Bella is always a real angel around here, a little prissy and whinny and not as popular with everyone like Lizzy (the blond) but admired for her extreme (and completely self aware) cuteness. Sometimes Bella will show up in the kitchen wearing some boutique get-up that only her and Laurie can appreciate.

The newest girl is Maya. She has only been here a short while but acts like she owns the place. She leaves her belongings out in the public areas for the rest of us to pick up. She doesn’t know how to behave around guests. She is usually being disciplined by Laurie and always forgiven by Bill. She thinks she is the one in charge and often pretends to supervise. She is into everyone’s business. She tries to make sure that everyone is where their supposed to be and lets us know if someone shows up unexpectedly. Sometimes she reminds me of an SS officer on patrol of the rainforest perimeter.

I hang out in the kitchen which is the center of the bed and breakfast. I am probably the one who spends the most time with Laurie as she not only prepares the incredible gourmet meals here but also all the rest of the meals for the volunteers. One of the guests took pictures of me because I’m a real Puerto Rican. I felt like the native Americans must feel when tourists photograph them as if they were part of the scenery. I was reluctant but Bill assured me that it would do no harm and that my photo would end up on an interesting web site and anyway it would only take a few minutes. Well, a few minutes turned into hours. I was never quit sure what was expected of me because the photographer and I didn’t speak the same language. After that everyone was “where’s Pedro”? I had disappeared for a couple of days to let them know what I thought of that whole deal. This island is full of Pedros like me and please guys choose someone else next time. After I returned Laurie assured me that I would never have to do that again. So now I’m back with my favorite girls and in my place of honor in the kitchen.

You may have guessed by now that Lizzy is an eleven-year-old silky terrier mix, Bella is a four-year-old mini Yorkshire terrier and Maya is a one-year-old Belgian Malanois. But did you figure out that I’m not who I seem to be? I am the resident coqui who lives in a crystal vase in Laurie’s kitchen. You can read about me in an earlier post and see pictures of me in my vase.

Oh! Don’t let me forget to mention Heather my newest favorite volunteer who sports a drawn on Luigi mustache sometimes to liven up the kitchen work place. And she’s a "Real" girl.

Thank you Bill for letting me do the blog -- Pedro, aka Laurie.